No Coasting

This Week’s Quick Hits: 

April Facts:

  • Originally April only had 29 days, but a 30th day was added when Julius Caesar established the Julian calendar.

  • April is a great month for meteor showers, one of which is the Lyrids meteor shower, which appears from April 16th to April 26th each year. Another is the Eta Aquariids, which can be seen onwards from April 21st.

  • There are quite a few notable historical people born in April, such as Leonardo da Vinci, Shakespeare, and Queen Elizabeth II.

  • On April 15, 1912, the famous Titanic ship hit an iceberg and sank on her first and only voyage.

  • George Washington was inaugurated as the First President of the United States on April 30, 1789.

  • On April 11, 1970, Apollo 13 was launched and ran into difficulties about two days later. It was then that the famous line, “Houston, we’ve had a problem here,” was said. (Today it is usually misquoted). 

Two Tough April Trivia Questions For You:

  1. In April 1972, what famous actor returned to the United States?

  2. Apple released the first iPad on April 3rd of what year?

Speaking the Truth

Listen: 

“Avoid These Common Parenting Pitfalls” 

If you’re a parent, you may have experienced how tempting it can be to get lost in your season of parenting. Join Lindsay and me as we identify these common pitfalls and offer some solutions that will make a difference for you and your marriage.

Watch: 

“Under the Rug”

Picture this scenario: There is an issue in your marriage that you know is significant to you and your spouse. You know the best course of action is to set aside time to discuss it with your spouse, but things have been going so well lately that you just do not want to rock the boat. Then things stop “going well” and you find you are fighting over the very issue you put off discussing. Now it’s a hot topic. Instead of talking about it rationally, the gloves are off. If only you had followed through before! Does this sound familiar? I honestly think most of us have been there. What keeps us from dealing with issues that we need to deal with? How do we get through these obstacles? Join me is this week's vlog as we look at this all too common issue.

Streaming:

“The Dropout”

I reviewed the fascinating book Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup in a 2020 Dispatch. The true story of Elizabeth Holmes' rise and fall from Stanford University dropout to the world’s youngest self-made female billionaire to losing it all in an instant is captivating. Around 2015, Elizabeth was the darling of Silicon Valley. Her blood testing company, Theranos, had been valued at $9 billion. Then it all came crashing down when it was revealed that Theranos’ blood testing machines never worked. The Dropout is an 8 episode series on Hulu.  Common Sense Media rates it as appropriate for age 14+.

Insights: 

In 2015, Zondervan published my first book, “7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.” It was a bestseller when it debuted on Amazon and continues to sell well. Today we wrap this series up.  I hope it has been helpful and you are working the “secrets” in your marriage!

No Coasting

Let’s compare marriage to a long distance race. The truth is that most of us did not prepare well for the race. We just jumped in, someone said go and we went. We did not train. We did not change our habits or behaviors. We just took off running. So it is not surprising that just a few miles into the race some of us were ready to bail out. Others seemed to be hanging in, but they were really struggling. 

It comes down to this: Everyone running the race needs hope. Hope that they can make it the distance. Hope that there are a lot of water stations along the route to refresh and energize them. Hope that their spouse is running side by side with them. Hope that their spouse is in it with them to the end. Hope in the truth that they are not running the race alone - God runs with them.  

My prayer for you is that you have an Awesome Marriage. I often say that marriage is not rocket science. The “7 secrets” are not difficult. It is living them out day after day that can be difficult. I encourage you to persevere, because one day you will say it was worth it. One day as you look back you will see how far God brought you. 

I wish I could tell you that Nancy and I have always had an Awesome Marriage, but I can’t. We have had some really rough times, and once were at the edge of divorce. In many ways, I am thankful that our marriage took the turns that it did, because otherwise I do not think we would have learned all that God wanted us to learn. Today our marriage is awesome. 

Here is your final takeaway: No matter where your marriage is today, God can make it awesome. All you have to do is turn it over to Him and walk faithfully each day in the path He sets before you. Take these 7 secrets and let them become steps that God will use to build a marriage that you both cherish and others look at and say, “What is their secret? They have such an awesome marriage.” Then you can tell them all that God has done.

Next Steps:

Ask God to encourage and guide you as you work with Him to turn the “secrets” into steps.

Answers Trivia:

  1. Charlie Chaplin

  2. 2010

 

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.

Kim KimberlingComment
FIGHT - The Power of Fighting Together on the Same Team

This Week’s Quick Hits: 

Random Facts about Some Very Interesting People:

  • Scientists say tears tell you the reason for someone crying. If the first drop comes from the right eye, it’s tears of joy. Otherwise, it’s because of pain.

  • The longest reigning monarch ever was Louis XIV of France, who ruled for 72 years, 110 days. Exhausting!

  • Marie Curie was the first person ever to win TWO Nobel Prizes – one for physics in 1903, the other for chemistry in 1911 for her work on radioactivity.

  • King Henry VIII of England had servants called “Grooms of Stool,” who wiped him clean after he visited the toilet. Gross.

  • 0.5% of the male population are descended from Genghis Khan. (Scientists did a study in 2003 showing that about 16 million dudes share a Y chromosome with the famous emperor.)

  • The youngest person to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize is Malala Yousafzai (who was  just 17 in 2014), for her work as a child rights activist and champion of girls’ right to education.

Trivia:

  • How many eyeballs does an owl have?

  • When you do a Google query, 1,000 computers are used to find the answer in what amount of time?

  • In this survey taken in 2019, what was the median age of the world’s population?

Apologizing

Read. Watch. Listen.

Read: 

Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship With God’s Help by Dr. David Clarke

Let me say up front that Dr. Clark never advocates divorce. Rather, he emphasizes separation to get healthy and to give the abusive spouse the opportunity to get help. His knowledge and use of Scripture throughout the book help us see the importance of tough love and boundaries in an abusive marriage. Getting away from an abuser is never easy but it is essential to both spouses’ emotional health.


Watch: 

“Love That Adrenaline: Video Games”

The Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery website gives us this definition of video game addiction: “Video game addiction is described as an impulse control disorder, which does not involve use of an intoxicating drug and is very similar to pathological gambling. Similar to other addictions, individuals suffering from video game addiction use the virtual fantasy world to connect with real people through the Internet, as a substitution for real-life human connection, which they are unable to achieve normally. Statistics show that men and boys are more likely to become addicted to video games versus women and girls. Recent research has found that nearly one in 10 youth gamers (ages 8-18) can be classified as pathological gamers or addicted to video-gaming.” So, does that mean trash you video game player? No! It means we have to add balance to this hobby. Join me as we look deeper into this issue and how it relates to marriage.


Listen: 

“Have Intimacy or Have Control: You Can’t Have Both” with Special Guest Laura Doyle 

How do you know if you are being controlled or micromanaged? Why can’t intimacy and control coexist? Laura Doyle is a NYT bestselling author of The Surrendered Wife and The Empowered Wife, and a relationship coach who helps women bring passion and playfulness back to their marriage. Join us as we talk about this important topic. You can find her content at https://lauradoyle.org/. 

Insights: 

In 2015, Zondervan published my first book, “7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.” It was a bestseller when it debuted on Amazon and continues to sell well. Today we look at Secret #7 and we will finish this series next week with “No Coasting.”

Secret #7: FIGHT - The Power of Fighting Together on the Same Team

If two truly can become one in a Christian marriage, why does it seem so difficult to fight together on the same team? In Ecclesiastes chapter four King Solomon says, “Two are better than one…” and, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves,” and finally, “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” 

Look at what happens in these verses. He makes his case first for a couple locking arms and standing together against anything and everything that the world throws at them. Then he takes it up to a whole new level with the “cord of three strands.” This is the picture of a husband and a wife and God bound together in the marriage. The God of the universe. The God of all creation.  The God who is everything cares about your marriage. He cares so much that He will put Himself right in the middle where He belongs - if you let Him.  

What stands in the way of you fighting together with God? Is it something from the past that is still unresolved? Maybe it is an issue of broken trust or un-forgiveness. Whatever it is, your first step is to let God search your heart and reveal what needs to change. That can be a little bit scary because when you open yourself up and completely let Him in, things are going to change. The control passes from your hands into His. I promise you this, God will never do anything that is not the very best for you, your spouse and your marriage.  

Now you can do things differently. Now you can stand together instead of apart. Now you can lock arms with God and take on the world. Your life will be better. Your spouse’s life will be better. Your marriage? You cannot even imagine all that our amazingly good God will do.

Next Steps:

Ask God to fight with you and your spouse as you seek together the incredible marriage that He has for you.

Answers Trivia:

  1. None. Owls do not have eyeballs.

  2. The answer to your Google query comes in 0.2 seconds.

  3. The median age of the world’s population in 2019 was 30 years old.

 

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.


Kim KimberlingComment
Secret #6: MINGLE

This Week’s Quick Hits: 

Let’s do 10 fun trivia questions this week. Give yourself 10 points for each correct answer and 25 points for the bonus question. This can be a fun activity for you and your spouse!

  1. Who were high heels originally invented for?

  2. What animal can clean its own ear with its tongue?

  3. Coprastastaphobia is the fear of what?

  4. On every continent, there is a city named what?

  5. Which planet is the hottest in our solar system?

  6. What is the most commonly used letter in the English alphabet?

  7. In which country was the Caesar salad invented?

  8. What body part is reshaped in plastic surgery known as “rhinoplasty”?

  9. The beaver is the national emblem of which country?

  10.  How many teeth does an aardvark have?

Bonus Question: What did the first vending machines dispense?

“Confiding In Friends of the Opposite Sex”

Read: 

Loonshots: How to Nurture the Crazy Ideas That Win Wars, Cure Diseases, and Transform Industries  by Safi Bahcall

If you had been in charge of casting for the first James Bond film, which has become a storied movie series, who would you have chosen? Ian Fleming wanted David Niven but the role went to a former milk delivery truck driver named Sean Connery. In Loonshots, physicist and entrepreneur Safi Bahcall reveals a surprising new way of thinking about the mysteries of group behavior that challenges everything we thought we knew about nurturing radical breakthroughs. This is a fun and fascinating book. I loved it!


Watch: 

“Love That Adrenaline: Porn”

Porn is a part of our culture. It is easily accessible and society as a whole does not frown on viewing porn in the way it did previous generations. The media does its best to tell us that looking at porn is normal. It is talked about in sitcoms, often as casually as what’s for dinner. Everybody does it! In the counseling room, I see a very different perspective. Join me in this week's vlog as we take a deep dive into this topic.


Listen: 

One-Sided Marriage Q&A

This week ends a four-part series on One Sided Marriage. This week Lindsay and I will take your questions that have come in over the course of this series. Remember, no matter where your marriage is today it can be better tomorrow. With God, there is always hope and a plan.  Our role is to follow the plan!

Insights: 

In 2015, Zondervan published my first book, “7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.” It was a bestseller when it debuted on Amazon and continues to sell well. For the next few weeks, I want to go through those seven secrets with you. Wherever your marriage is today, I believe these secrets will take it to a whole new level.

Secret #6: MINGLE: Sex As The Mingling Of Souls

The first time I heard Tommy Nelson of Denton Bible Church teach the Song of Solomon I was amazed. 

I may have known the book was a love story, but I had no idea it was that intense a love story! I listened as he described the couple making love two times. I listened as he told of their desire to make love all night long. I listened as he described sex in marriage in the most beautiful way I had ever heard. It was amazing! 

But then it hit me. I could not believe it. He was teaching from the Bible. You know what that did for me? It took sex from a cultural view to God’s view. It took it from the back seat of a car to the passion of the marriage bed. 

Sex is a gift from God, given to us in marriage as a way to join with our spouse physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The Hebrew word for this is “dod,” which means “mingling of souls.” It is sex at its deepest level, and it can only happen in a Christian marriage. Does it happen in every Christian marriage? No, but it can. 

Let me give you a formula. (Guys really like formulas, and this one works.) When you follow the other six secrets in your marriage, then “dod” can happen.

Every last one of us brings sexual baggage into our marriage. It is part of the curse of our culture. Yet God can and will heal your sexual hurts. For many of us, they are deep and the healing may take time. But we follow a God who heals and He can heal you. He wants to heal you.

In this world we hear more about sex than ever before. It is on TV, on the covers of most magazines, all over the internet, and it is the subject of most movies. The sad thing for our world is that none of these tell the story of sex the way God created it to be, and most people buy into the lies and thus miss out on the best sex ever. 

Having a great sex life in marriage is important. Wherever it is in your marriage today, do not settle for less than God’s best. Commit to each other to let God renew your minds, heal the past, and help you have a sex life in your marriage that mirrors the Song of Solomon.

Next Steps:

  • Pray individually for God to heal your past sexual hurts. 

  • If you need professional help to work through things, make that appointment.

  • Together pray for God’s blessing on your sex life as you seek to redefine it God’s way.

Answers to Fun Trivia:

  1. Men. During the reign of King Louis, heels were an indicator that you were wealthy!

  2. Giraffe. Their tongue is 21 inches long. 

  3. Constipation. 

  4. Rome.

  5. Venus at an average temperature of 880 degrees fahrenheit.

  6. E.

  7. Mexico in 1924 by Caesar Cardini.

  8. The nose.

  9. Canada. In the late 1600s, fur hats made of beaver pelts were successfully traded to Europe. As tribute, they put the beaver in their coat of arms, stamps, and emblems.

  10. None.

Bonus Question: Holy water. The first vending machine existed in 1st CE and was invented by Hero of Alexandria. He described the whole process in his book The Pneumatics of Hero of Alexandria, noting that one allocation of holy water is five drachms of coins.

 

 

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.

Kim KimberlingComment