CONNECT - The Art of Listening and Being Present
This Week’s Quick Hits:
March:
March is the time of year when animals start waking up from hibernation.
Statistically, March is the most unproductive month of the year in the U.S. This is the result of “March Madness.” Some companies lose up to $1.9 billion in wages paid to workers who were not productive and instead spent company time watching and betting on the games.
On March 10, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell made the first-ever phone call. He called his assistant and said, “Mr. Watson, come here. I want to see you.”
Speaking of March Madness:
When was the phrase "March Madness" coined and who coined it?
In which year did the NCAA tournament commence?
Which team won the first ever NCAA tournament?
Name the only coach ever to have won both the NCAA and NBA championships.
(Answers Below!)
“Love Even When You Don’t Feel Like It:”
Listen:
Are You In A One Sided Marriage?
Many people tell us that their spouse isn’t on board with working on their marriage. They tell us they’re the only one working to make things better, and their spouse just isn’t willing to work on it with them. What is a one-sided marriage and what are some signs that you may be in one? Don’t miss this week's Awesome Marriage podcast!
Watch:
Do you get enough sleep? Do you function well at work and at home? If you are not getting enough sleep, why not? In this vlog we will look at the benefits of sleep and a 30-day sleep challenge.
Read:
Leadership In Turbulent Times by Doris Kearns Goodwin
Are leaders born or made? Does the man make the times or do the times make the man? This fascinating book by Pulitzer Prize winning author Doris Kearns Goodwin answers these questions and more. Kearns explores how Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt and Lyndon Johnson first recognized leadership qualities in themselves and how others saw leadership in them. It is such a fitting book for our world today.
Insights:
In 2015, Zondervan published my first book, “7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.” It was a bestseller when it debuted on Amazon and continues to sell well. For the next few weeks, I want to go through those seven secrets with you. Wherever your marriage is today, I believe these secrets will take it to a whole new level.
Secret #3: CONNECT - The Art of Listening and Being Present
Sometimes I better understand what a word means when I know its opposite. Take the word “connect.” It can mean a number of things. We connect dots and airplane flights and we make professional connections in hopes of learning from each other.
But what does “connect” mean in marriage? Are we talking or hanging out together, or does it mean the absence of fighting? Is it sharing a bank account or going on a date or just living under the same roof? I know couples that do all of those and yet the last word I would use to describe them would be connected.
They talk but it is always on the surface. They hang out but it is more out of convenience. They don’t fight but there is no passion. The bank account makes sense to them on a practical level. The dates keep them from going to a movie or out to dinner alone and living together under the same roof saves a lot of money on bills.
These couples do not connect - they just exist together. Someone observing them might think they are connected, but they are not.
Nancy and I do all the above, but here’s the difference. When we talk to each other we put a lot of effort into listening. We each want the other to know they are heard. That connects us. When we hang out together, we touch and sit close together and hold hands. Physical touch connects us. We fight but we try to fight fair, to resolve our differences and to show respect for each other. That connects us. Sharing a bank account connects us because we have a budget and when we stick to it we have more to give away. Being generous connects us. We started having dates together in college and we still have them all the time. We look forward to enjoying time together and that time connects us.
We are connected most of the time today, but it took work. We had a lot of “existing” years but we hung in there and as we learned to do marriage God’s way, the days of existing together turned into days of connecting together.
Next Steps:
Together with your spouse, define what “connect” means to you in your marriage.
What things really connect the two of you?
What causes you to just “exist”?
What will you do today to “connect”?
Answers to March Madness Trivia:
1982 by broadcaster Brent Musburger
1939
Oregon Webroots
Larry Brown
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