This Week’s Quick Hits: 

This Week’s Quote:

Colonel Harland David Sanders  was born on September 9, 1890 and died December 16, 1980.  He is best known for founding Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) and later acting as the company's brand ambassador and symbol. His name and image are still symbols of the company. Sanders held a number of jobs in his early life, such as steam engine stoker, insurance salesman, and filling station operator. He began selling fried chicken from his roadside restaurant in North Corbin, Kentucky, during the Great Depression. During that time, Sanders developed his "secret recipe" and his patented method of cooking chicken in a pressure fryer. Here are a few of the Colonel’s words of wisdom!

• I was 66 years old. I still had to make a living. I looked at my social security check of 105 dollars and decided to use that to try to franchise my chicken recipe. Folks had always liked my chicken.

• There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.

• The hard way builds solidly a foundation of confidence that cannot be swept away.

• There's something inside of me that makes me want to help people, especially people who are having difficulty of some kind.

• Don’t be against things so much as for things.

In honor of the Colonel’s birthday this month, let’s do a little chicken trivia!

1. How many herbs and spices are used in Kentucky Fried Chicken?

2. In Georgia, it is illegal to do what with a fork?

3. How fast can a chicken run?

4. What chicken part is the snack of choice for Chinese movie goers?

5. What do chickens do during a total eclipse?

Bonus Question:

• Fried Chicken Strawberry Shortcake is a traditional Christmas Eve meal where?

“What Happens When We Are Not Emotionally Healthy?”

Awesome Marriage This Week: 

AM Podcast: Thinking About Having Kids?

Children are one of the great blessings from God but deciding when to have kids is an important decision with many things to consider. In this podcast, Lindsay and I talk about our personal experiences and some surprises that I have seen couples deal with in the counseling room.

AM YouTube Channel: Does a healthy sex life really make a difference?

We all want great sex in our marriages. Join me as we look at the benefits for your marriage that a healthy sex life brings. This is the second in a six-part series on sex in marriage. In this episode, I share some of the things Nancy and I have learned over the years of our marriage.

AM YouVersion Plan: Fighting to Be a Man of God

Men, join me and my Pastor Craig Groeschel in this six-day plan designed to help you become  a warrior and become more of the man of God He created you to be!

Dr. Kim’s Insights: 

In the early years of our marriage, we threw the word “divorce” around a lot. We would be in an argument and as it escalated the word “divorce” would come out of one of our mouths. We said things like,”If you don’t like it, just get a divorce,” or “I give up, I want a divorce.” At the time the words were said, it almost always ended the fight. It was like knocking the breath out of us. 

If I said the word, I was immediately afraid that this time Nancy would take me seriously. If Nancy said the word, I knew I had pushed way too far. So we would go to our separate corners, not speak to each other for a day or two, and finally work our way back to each other. We resumed married life but each time it put another wound in our marriage. We never talked through what we were fighting about. Sometimes we could not remember what we were fighting about. 

This cycle continued for four or five years. Finally, Nancy was serious. It had taken too big a toll on her. Honestly, I never thought she would get to that point but she did. I was devastated. Why had I let this go on for so long? Was it really too late? 

In one last almost desperate action, Nancy talked to an older lady in our church that we both respected a lot. In short, she listened to Nancy and finally said, “God does not want you to get a divorce. He wants to make something beautiful out of your marriage.” Now Nancy was listening to her. Nancy came home and we talked in a way we never had before. We decided to take the word “divorce” off the table and to leave it off. That was the beginning of the sixth year of our marriage. Neither of us used that word again.

Now, it wasn’t like everything all of a sudden got better. There was work to do. There were wounds that needed to heal. Trust had to be rebuilt. Now we were forced to work through things.  We had to learn how to communicate and how to handle conflict. Our go-to bailout was gone.

What about you? Is the word “divorce” still a part of your vocabulary? If it is, it is stunting the growth of your marriage. It is keeping you from being all in and not being all in will never give you an Awesome Marriage. Here is my challenge to you: Take the word “divorce” out of your marriage and start working on the things you have been avoiding. It may mean a mentor couple of a Christian counselor. Do whatever it takes! 

Forty-five years ago, we took the word “divorce” off the table and God truly has built something beautiful. He can and He will do that for you!

Next Steps:

• Together remove the word “divorce” from your marriage.

• Take the first step towards healing and building your Awesome Marriage.

Chicken Trivia Answers:

1. Eleven

2. Eat chicken

3. Nine miles per hour

4. Chicken feet

5. Sleep

Bonus Chicken Question: Japan

This Week’s Quick Hits: 

This Week’s Quote:

Many people agree that Vince Lombardi is the greatest American Football coach of all time. He is best known as the head coach of the Green Bay Packers during the 1960s, where he led the team to three straight and five total NFL Championships in seven years, in addition to winning the first two Super Bowls at the conclusion of the 1966 and 1967 NFL seasons. He never had a losing season as head coach in the NFL. The year after his sudden death from cancer in 1970, he was enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and the NFL Super Bowl trophy was named in his honor.

There are many great quotes by Coach Lombardi but this is my all time favorite.

The Winner is always part of the answer.

The Loser is always part of the problem.

The Winner always has a program.

The Loser always has an excuse.

The Winner says, "Let me do it for you."

The Loser says, "That's not my job."

The Winner sees an answer for every problem.

The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

The Winner sees a green near every sand trap

The Loser sees two or three sand traps near every green.

The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it's possible."

The Loser says, "It might be possible but it's too difficult."

Be a Winner.

As a new NFL season is upon us, here are five NFL trivia questions:

1. Overtime rules are being modified all the time. What is the lowest-scoring NFL game ever?

2. Who was the first player to score 2000 points in a career?

3. Which vintage player is known as the first superstar of the NFL?

4. What was the original name of the franchise now known as the Washington Commanders?

5. Which of these teams did not exist? Akron Burkhardts, Evanston North Ends, Youngstown Patricians, Cincinnati Fryers

Bonus NFL Question:

New York City has had a few NFL teams over the years, one of which was based on Staten Island. What was the nickname of this team?

Did You Know?:

Did you know it would cost $18.3 million to make a replica Darth Vader suit?

According to Time, it would cost the average person $18.3 million to make a real-life replica of the infamous black suit that features a voice modifier, breathing apparatus, prosthetic limbs, and an augmented reality filter.

Awesome Marriage This Week: 

AM Podcast: Special Guest Matt Hammit

Matt Hammit was the lead singer of the Grammy and Dove-award winning band Sanctus Real for 20 years, and he has a new book out called “Lead Me: Finding Courage to Fight For Your Marriage, Children and Faith.” Join me for the fascinating interview!

AM YouTube Channel: Sex in Marriage Series: Episode 1

We all want great sex in our marriages. This begins a six week series on that topic with a new episode dropping every week. In this episode, I share some of the things Nancy and I have learned over the years of our marriage.

AM YouVersion Plan: Hope for the Postpartum Mom

As many as one in seven women suffer from postpartum depression and it generally lasts from three to six months. Amanda Taylor is one of them. In this 5-part plan, Amanda shares her story and offers hope for every woman that finds herself in this situation. 

AM One Thing: If you have not subscribed to my free One Thing email, I invite you to do that today.  Each day Monday through Friday I send you One Thing you can do to improve your marriage. Here is the signup link and below is today’s One Thing!

One Thing 9/1/22

I like to plan for the future, and I also enjoy being spontaneous. That may sound confusing, but it usually works for me. I make plans based on where I would like my life to be in a year or two—and those plans include Awesome Marriage. Yet, I also want to leave room in those plans for spontaneity to make sure I don’t miss something that would be good for me or for Awesome Marriage. Let’s take this idea into your marriage, where some problems might arise without proper planning or because of rigid planning. If Nancy and I don’t plan for the future in our marriage, we might just stay stuck where we are. Improvement in our communication, sex life, and finances probably won’t happen without some planning. So there are areas of our marriage that certainly require purposeful planning. But we also want to give ourselves enough flexibility in our planning so we can make spontaneous decisions and take advantage of unforeseen opportunities that God gives us. What we have found is that if we are diligent about planning for the future, we also have the flexibility to be spontaneous. We just build spontaneity into our plans! 

Today’s One Thing: Take time with your spouse to begin planning where you want your marriage to be this time next year! 

Dr. Kim’s Insights: 

As I counsel couples and watch the marriage culture where I live, I have lots of questions. Why are there some couples with awesome marriages while others have train wreck marriages? Did all of the people in train wreck marriages marry the wrong person? Did they just get tired of each other? When their marriage did not meet their expectations, did they begin looking for someone or something else that would? 

Let’s land on expectations for a minute. We all have expectations. Some of our marriage expectations are realistic. Others are not. It seems that just because an expectation is unrealistic does not always prevent someone from pursuing it. When I counsel couples, we talk a lot about expectations. Often, I will have both of them write down all the expectations they have for their spouse. Then we go through their lists and the couple decides which expectations are realistic and which are not. We then cross off the unrealistic ones and talk about how to handle the ones that are realistic. That process works almost every time and when it does the couple has taken a huge step forward in growing their marriage. 

The problem is that very few couples go to counseling. They never have anyone other than their spouse tell them that their expectations are unrealistic and usually by this point in their marriage they don’t listen at all. For example, the husband wants to have sex more often than his wife and also wants her to do things sexually with him that she is not comfortable with. Instead of listening to her, being sensitive to her, and trying to find something that works for both of them, he assumes his expectations are realistic. So he looks elsewhere for someone that will meet his expectations. 

Think about this. Where did your views of marriage come from? As we grow up we are exposed to a number of marriage models. Our first model is our family of origin. Think about your family of origin. How did your parents treat each other? Did they have a good relationship with each other? Did you see them value each other and serve each other? Next, outside of our family of origin, we are bombarded with all kinds of marriage models. Very few movies or TV shows portray healthy marriages. Why? Because it does not sell. It’s the crazy mixed up marriages that people pay to see. Do you think we can not be affected by this? I don’t think so. Hey, I am a Christian marriage counselor and sometimes I have to work to separate the healthy from the unhealthy. The unhealthy is often made to be very appealing. 

Taking time to think through the expectations you have of your spouse and your marriage is a great exercise to think through.  Make your list.  Prayerfully go over it. Ask God to help you eliminate the unrealistic expectations on your list.  Ideally, your spouse will go through the same  exercise and then you can come together with your lists and talk through your expectations. Having realistic expectations in your marriage can be a game changer!

Next Steps:

• Make your list of the expectations you have of your spouse and marriage.

• Prayerfully, go through your list eliminating the unfair and unrealistic expectations on it.

• Ask your spouse to do the same thing.

• Come together and share your lists and set good, realistic, expectations for each other and your marriage.

Trivia Answers:

1. 0-0

Currently, NFL overtime rules state that games have a 10-minute overtime period, during which both teams have the opportunity to possess the ball. If the game is still tied at the end of the period, the game officially ends as a tie.

1. George Blanda

Although George Blanda was an accomplished quarterback who played for the Chicago Bears and the Oakland Raiders, he never actually won a Super Bowl. He retired just before the Raiders won the Super Bowl.

1. Red Grange

He was also known by the nicknames “The Galloping Ghost” and “Wheaton Iceman.”

1. Boston Braves

The club played as the Boston Braves from 1932 to 1937 when they relocated to the nation’s capital.

1. Cincinnati Friars

The early Cincinnati team was known as the Celts.

Bonus NFL Question Answer:

• Stapletons

The Stapletons played in the NFL from 1929 until 1932, their home stadium being Thompson's Stadium in Stapleton. Their best season was in 1930 when they finished 5-5-2. Hall of Fame halfback Ken Strong began his pro career with the Stapletons before joining the New York Giants in 1933.

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.

This Week’s Quick Hits: 

This Week’s Quote:

Most of you know that Malcolm Gladwell is one of my favorite writers. His latest book’ “Miracle and Wonder” is an incredible audio-only book. This five-hour book is gleaned from 30 hours of conversation between Malcolm Gladwell, co-author Bruce Headlam, and singer songwriter Paul Simon. The book is a deep look at Simon, his relationship with Art Garfunkel, the story and work behind hits such as ”The Boxer,” “The Sound of Silence,” “Graceland,” and more. There is great music and great conversations. If you like Gladwell, Simon, or music at all, I think you will love this audiobook.

Here are four of my favorite Paul Simon quotes! 

• There are two sorts of people in the world: Those who listen and those who are thinking about what they are going to say next.

• You know, life is what you make of it- so beautiful or so what.

• I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

• All God requires from us is to enjoy life and love. That's the whole point.

Pretty Easy Trivia:

1. What does a funambulist walk on?

2. Area 51 is located in which US state?

3. On a dartboard, what number is directly opposite No. 1?

4. Which American president appears on a one-dollar bill?

5. What geometric shape is generally used for stop signs?

Bonus Question:

Which buzzword did Apple Inc. use to describe their removal of the headphone jack?

Did You Know?:

Did you know the Statue of Liberty wears a size 879 shoe?

It’s no wonder that Lady Liberty in New York Harbor is a massive monument. The copper statue alone is 151 feet and one inch tall. However, if she needed a new pair of sandals it would take size 879 shoes to cover her ginormous feet.

Parenting Teenagers with Lindsay Few

Awesome Marriage This Week: 

AM Podcast: Healthy Marriage: Q & A Episode 523

As we wrap up this series on Healthy Self / Healthy Marriage, Lindsay and I answer your questions. Join us!

AM YouTube Channel: How Often Do Most Married Couples Have Sex? 

How often do married couples have sex?  What is normal? Can you have too much sex? If you seldom have sex does this affect your marriage in a negative way? How does the quality versus quantity thing work in regards to sex?  How often do you two have sex?  Tune in this week!

AM YouVersion Plan: Sex How Often

In this six-day plan, let’s take a look inside your sex life in marriage. What is normal for you? What obstacles do you face? How do you talk about it together? How do you have the sex life in your marriage that God intends for you to have?

AM Resource: Elevate Your Communication Course Whether your communication is a mess or things are generally good with some mishaps here or there, I think your marriage could benefit from my new Elevate Your Marriage Communication Online Course. Just use the code COM20 at check out for 20% off! 

Dr. Kim’s Insights: 

As I take time off from writing during the month of August, I want to share some of my favorite Insights and Blogs from the past 12 years.  

Join me next week as I return with all new Insights!

I write the Dispatch on Monday mornings. Usually I have a number of ideas floating around in my mind that I want to write about. This past Monday morning was different. I had nothing. So I went to Google! I searched for the “biggest issues facing Christians today in America and first world countries.”

Now I had a new problem, which of the top ten would I write on?  

I chose “a diluted faith.” What does that even mean? To dilute means to weaken or to thin down. So, diluted faith is when I let worldviews collide with my faith beliefs in such a way that the worldviews win. It’s when I put more emphasis on what my culture says is okay than what God says is okay. It’s choosing man’s view of truth over God’s view of truth. It’s putting myself first all the time. 

Here is an interesting quote from William Booth, who founded the Salvation Army in the late 1800s. As the year 1900 approached, marking the beginning of a new century, a reporter asked Booth, “What are the chief dangers we will encounter in this new century?” Booth responded, “I consider that the chief dangers which confront the coming century will be: Religion without the Holy Ghost, Christianity without Christ, forgiveness without repentance, politics without God, and Heaven without Hell.” 

I have no idea how the people of Booth’s time took that prediction but looking back from today, he nailed it! Author Daniel Sweet, responding to that quote, says American Christianity is already there: “In a society in which there are no absolutes and every individual is a free agent, we are taught to be self-reliant and independent. Christianity is no longer the automatic, default faith of young adults.” 

Diluted faith seems to be a big part of our lives today. So what does that mean for you and me? This is my take. It is like being in a small boat in the middle of the ocean and discovering that your boat has no rudder. If I have let myself become self-dependent instead of God-dependent, I am in trouble. I am helpless. Yet, if I am God-dependent, everything changes. I am not alone in the boat, for God is with me. I am not without hope because God always has answers. God was not surprised when I got into this predicament. God has resources to rescue me from sending some of His angels to sending a passing freighter. Now, the end result of this situation may be the same. I may die on the boat, but I believe there is a huge difference in dying on my own and dying with God at my side.  

Your faith and mine do not have to be diluted. It is really our choice. Sure, we will continue to be bombarded with worldviews that challenge our faith, but we can keep our eyes on God. Do you realize how often the views from the world change? Compare that with the ways of God that have never changed. I’ve decided to keep up my fight against a diluted faith and to keep my eyes on God and who He is. What about you? Are you fighting? Where are your eyes focused today?

Next Steps:

• What is one way you see that “diluted faith” has affected you?

• Of the five predictions from William Booth, which one have you let dilute your faith?

Trivia Answers:

1. Tight Rope

2. Nevada

3. 19

4. George Washington

5. Octagon

Bonus Question Answer:

• Courage

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.