This Week’s Quick Hits: 

Michael Jordan is at the top of most lists that rank the greatest basketball players ever.  He played in the NBA for 15 years and won 6 NBA championships.  He was the  NBA Finals Most Valuable Player 6 times. He has scoring titles, All Star designations, and  much more.  In 1999, he was named the 20th century's greatest North American athlete by ESPN

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

Did You Know?

• A mix between a Chihuahua and a dachshund is called a "chiweenie.”

• Even though dragonflies have six legs, they cannot walk.

• A baby has around 30,000 taste buds. They are not just on the tongue but also on the sides, back, and roof of the mouth. Adults have about 10,000.

• In one survey, three out of four people admitted to sharing an ice cream cone with their pet.

• Pablo Picasso would often carry around a pistol loaded with blanks. He would fire it at people he found boring or anyone who insulted the Post-Impressionist painter, Paul Cézanne.

One Tough Trivia Question

• What was the first movie to be rated PG-13? (Answer Below)

Does Comparison Affect Your Marriage?

Awesome Marriage This Week: 

AM Podcast: The Best Way To Affair Proof Your Marriage Episode 516

There’s one step to affair proofing a marriage that stands out above the rest: that is to pre-decide. Make the commitment to stick to the vows you made at the altar, and do whatever it takes to maintain them. Join Lindsay and me as we unpack this term. 

AM YouTube Channel: Is It Fair To Expect This From Your Spouse?

Do you have a checklist for your spouse? Is it fair? Let's look at thow that checklist can affect your marriage in this week’s video.

AM YouVersion Plan: The Man God Made You To Be

Colby Taylor co-hosts the Dr. Kim and Colby Leadership Podcast with me. In this plan, Colby addresses some of the major barriers that keep men from being the man they want to be as well as practical steps to be the man God created you to be.

Dr. Kim’s Insights: 

Can You Really Trust God When You Can’t Find Him?

Have you ever wondered where God was when you cried out to Him and heard nothing back? Have you ever wondered why God let something bad happen? Have you ever felt that God cared about everyone else in the world but you? 

As a counselor, I have heard these questions and many more like them as people try to work through life experiences that don’t make sense. A good pastor friend of mine watched his son go through a very difficult time having seizures. Big time seizures. If you saw him having one, it would scare you like few other things could. They kept getting worse and no one had an answer for them. The best doctors could not figure it out. 

It went on for over six months and each seizure seemed to be more intense than the one before. My friend and I were talking as he was trying to make sense of it. He told me that he was angry at God. He asked God, “How could you let this happen? I gave my life to you. I serve you every day and now this is happening to my son. Why him? Why not someone else’s son? Where are you God? Because I am hearing nothing from you.”

When bad things happen, our first impulse may be to blame God. And why not? He is the creator of everything. He is all powerful. He can literally make anything happen. Jesus healed people. He brought the dead back to life. Why isn’t God doing something now - in this instance - for me? At one time or another in our lives, I think almost all of us deal with these or similar questions about God. The truth is that bad things do happen to good people and almost without exception, they do not make sense to us at all. The question then is, “How do we find Him in those times of crisis?”

About 1,000 years before Jesus was born lived a young boy who was a shepherd and the youngest of eight sons. His name was David and God picked him to be the future king of Israel. In the Bible, David is described as a man after God’s own heart. I think that means that David loved the things that God loves. The road to becoming the king was not easy and neither was David's reign as king.  

In Psalm 13, David was in a bad place. His enemies closed in on him and God seemed nowhere to be found. David cried out, “O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes or I will die.” David was desperate. 

Would God show up? When? David had the same questions and doubts that can plague each of us but that is not the end of the Psalm. David stepped out in faith, trusting who God says that He is. David writes, “But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me.” 

How did David go from questioning God to praising Him, all in one Psalm. What changed? 

First, we sometimes have to get to the end of ourselves so we can have a deeper trust in God. Second, instead of keeping the focus on himself and all that was crashing in on him, he began to focus on God and who God is. The turmoil we see in David at the beginning of this Psalm turned to praise and joy. Steven J. Cole said these words, “David chose to interpret his circumstances by God’s love rather than to interpret God’s love by his circumstances.” I believe that is our answer. 

The enemy wants us to focus on our circumstances and to take our eyes off of God. That causes us to be afraid or depressed. Jesus said that as Christians we will have problems in this world. Bad things will happen to good people. But He also said that He will be with us in everything. God is always there even when we do not see Him. Our role is to put our focus on Him. Don’t believe the lies. God is always there and He is always at work. So take your eyes off of your circumstances and keep looking for God until you find him. He is there!

Next Steps: 

• When difficult times come into your life, do you interpret your circumstances by God’s love or do you interpret God’s love by your circumstances? 

• Begin to know more of who God is. Read the Bible, pray, and journal. Build a foundation that will keep your focus on Him.

One Tough Trivia Question Answer

• Red Dawn

This Week’s Quick Hits: 

This Week’s Quote:

Mario Andretti is one of only two drivers to have won races in Formula One, IndyCar, the World Sportscar Championship, and NASCAR. In American pop culture, Andretti’s name has been synonymous with speed.

“If things seem under control, you are just not going fast enough.” – Mario Andretti

More Interesting True Facts:

• A shot of espresso contains less caffeine than a cup of coffee. It would take two or three espresso shots to equal the caffeine in a 16 oz. Starbucks coffee.

• It's illegal to chew gum in Singapore. In 1992, the Prime Minister of Singapore made the import and sale of chewing gum illegal. In 2002, an exception was made for certain types of sugar-free gum sold by dentists or pharmacists, who must also record the name of anyone who buys it.

• The CIA once tried to create spy cats. In a 1960’s project called Acoustic Kitty, CIA operatives attempted to implant listening devices into the ears of cats in hopes of eavesdropping on top-secret conversations. The project was shut down in 1967 after the CIA figured out how difficult it is to train a cat.

What Is A One-Sided Marriage?

Awesome Marriage This Week:

AM Podcast: Feeling Used in Sex | Ep. 514

Have you ever felt “used” in married sex? Sex is one of God’s gifts to a couple in marriage, yet it’s one of the most frequently argued-over topics among couples. It’s also not something many of us can talk candidly about with friends. Our sex life is so personal and intimate that we often struggle silently with sex problems. Join Lindsay and me for this new podcast episode.

AM YouTube Channel: Is It a Good Idea to Marry Your Best Friend?

How does a strong friendship in your marriage help when tough times come? Join me as I share Grace and Mason’s story and how their friendship made a difference as they faced a miscarriage and other hardships.

AM YouVersion Plan: One Foot Out the Door

How are the conversations and relationships around your marriage going? Are they bringing life or death? Do you feel you are struggling with one foot out of the door? This 5-day plan will help you reflect on where your marriage is and then the steps to take to get your marriage where you want it to be.

Dr. Kim’s Insights:

The Way We Look at Sex: #2 A Wife Wants Her Husband to Be Present

Men and women are very different, and not just physically. We usually think and communicate differently and value different things. Differences can draw us together or push us apart and they can improve or wreck our sex life in marriage. I want us to look at 5 differences when it comes to sex. These are taken from a survey we did of married couples. I will spread these out along with other topics over the next few months. I would love your feedback as we unpack these differences.

#2 -  A Wife Wants Her Husband to Be Present

You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. Your love delights me. My treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices. Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. Your clothes are scented like the cedars of Lebanon. Song of Solomon 4:9-11

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 

This passage from Song of Solomon paints a picture of husband and wife fully engaged. As Solomon says, “You have captured my heart,” it is clear in his description that his bride has also captured his attention. 

Husbands, your wife wants you to be present during sex, both mentally and physically. For her, being mentally present means you’re thinking only of her; being faithful to her in your mind. No intruding thoughts of other women, porn or anything other than her. She wants to know that she turns you on and that you desire her and only her.  

This is a struggle for some men. There are two sets of statistics on when the average boy is first exposed to porn; one says eleven and the other says eight. Almost every man has seen porn at some level. If you are a man who has not, consider yourself blessed. Men are visual and what we take in visually sticks. What we have seen with porn or old girlfriends sticks. Those images are in our brains. 

No one knows what’s in your mind but you. I think that’s why many men consider unfaithful thoughts to be harmless. Yes, no one else knows, but they are huge barriers in our sex life with our wife. We are not fully embracing her. We are missing out. Plus, I think our wives have a sense when our mind is somewhere else. When we are not fully present mentally and physically and are not thinking of and desiring only her, we are cheating both of us out of the sex God intended for us in our marriage. 

We have to replace those with images and thoughts of our wife. We want to be able to say to her what Solomon said to his wife, “You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride.” I have prayed for many years for my sexual desire to be for Nancy and her only. This lines up with God’s desire for marriage; that “they shall become one flesh.” God has answered that prayer. He will answer it for you.

Next Steps: 

• What gets in the way of you being fully present with your spouse sexually?

• Pray and ask God to keep your mind pure and only focused on your spouse.

This Week’s Quick Hits: 

Awesome Marriage Online Men’s Retreat - It’s Not too Late

If you missed early signup, it is not too late. Join other men who are taking advantage of this great opportunity to grow into the man, husband, and father God created them to be! There are 10 amazing speakers who will both challenge you and teach you. Plus, you will have specific next steps to help you in your growth. Join us!

Top Gun and Top Gun Maverick Trivia

Since most of us have had a chance by now to see the 2022 version of Top Gun and because the first Top Gun was an all time classic, let’s do Top Gun trivia! 10 Questions - 5 on each movie and one bonus question. Give yourself 10 points for each correct answer and 25 points for the bonus question for a max total of 125 points.  

Top Gun (1986)

1. What does Maverick say to Goose in the bar to let him know it was time to sing to someone?

2. Who sings the song “Take My Breath Away”?

3. Who plays Goose’s wife?

4. What body of water does the opening scene take place over?

5. What was the plane number that Maverick and Goose were flying when Goose died in the crash caused by the flat spin?

Top Gun Maverick (2022)

1. Who were the only actors to reprise their roles from the original Top Gun?

2. When Penny is first shown on the scene, what song was playing?

3. What airplane maneuver is performed at the end of both Top Gun movies?

4. What car does Penny drive in the movie?

5. What is the name of the film’s theme song and who performed it?

Bonus Question:

Stinger says this to Maverick in regards to his risky flying behavior. Finish the quote: “Son, your ego is writing checks________________ .”

What If My Spouse Isn’t Interested In Growing Our Marriage?

Awesome Marriage This Week: 

AM Podcast: Hard Conversations - You Have To Have Them

As Lindsay and I continue our summer podcast break, we share some of our best and most popular podcasts from the past.  There are things that aren’t fun to talk about and issues need to be addressed. But how do we have hard conversations well for the betterment of our marriage? Join us as we dig into this issue.

AM YouTube Channel: What are You Looking For?

What do you look for in a best friend? What’s essential? What’s not? What do you expect from a best friend? Then, how does that translate to marriage and making your spouse your best friend? Join me for this week's vlog on YouTube.

AM YouVersion Plan: 4 Ways to Fight Fair in Marriage Marriage

Conflict is the hard and messy part of marriage. Every couple argues, but not every couple fights in healthy ways. Learn how to resolve conflict the healthy way.  In this 4 day plan by Awesome Marriage’s COO Christina Dodson, you will have biblical principles to fight fair in your marriage.

Dr. Kim’s Insights: 

The Way We Look at Sex:  #1 - A Husband Want His Wife to Be Engaged 

Men and women are very different, and not just physically. We usually think and communicate differently and value different things. Differences can draw us together or push us apart and they can improve or wreck our sex life in marriage. I want us to look at 5 differences when it comes to sex. These are taken from a survey we did of married couples. I will spread these out along with other topics over the next few months. I would love your feedback as we unpack these differences.

Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How pleasing is your fragrance; your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils. No wonder all the young women love you! Take me with you; come, let’s run! The king has brought me to his bedroom. Song of Solomon 1:2-4

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

You two are a team. Marriage joins two totally different people together as one. And the closest physical expression of that oneness is the sexual relationship. It seems many women think their husband could have sex with them whether they are engaged or not. As a guy, that can be true at times, but a husband does not want a body to perform on. He wants his wife to be engaged.  

What exactly does that mean? Look at it this way. A man’s greatest pleasure in sex is pleasing his wife. Wives, let that soak in. In many ways it is counter-cultural, but in my 40+ years of experience counseling couples, I have seen that it is absolutely true. Your husband’s greatest pleasure in sex is in pleasing you. That is God’s design. 

Sex is about the two of you - your team. Your husband wants you to enjoy sex with him. He wants to please you. He wants you to express your love for him. He wants to have fun with you and to be playful. We see this in Song of Solomon, as the wife expresses attraction and admiration for her husband; appreciating his kisses and his scent, and enjoying the experience. 

You know how good it makes you feel when the two of you communicate well? When you know your spouse gets you and understands what you said? It draws you closer together and increases your love. Sex is a way to communicate that love to each other. Being engaged is for both of you. When you engage, I promise your enjoyment will increase and that is a win for your team. 

Next Steps: 

• When you think of you and your spouse as a team in your sexual relationship, what does that look like to you?

• If sex is a type of “communication” with your spouse how can you best communicate to them?

Trivia Answers

1. “She’s lost that lovin’ feelin’”

2. Berlin

3. Meg Ryan

4. Indian Ocean

5. 114

6. Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer

7. “Let’s dance” by David Bowie

8. A barrel roll

9. 1973 Porsche 911

10. “”Hold My Hand” by Lady Gaga

Bonus Question: ”.... Your body can’t cash.”