White Flags: Part 2

This Week’s Quick Hits:

How Much Christmas Trivia Do You Know? 

Test your knowledge. If you get eight out of ten correct, you are a Christmas Trivia Genius!

  1. What ad campaign popularized Santa’s red suit? 

  2. What is the highest grossing Christmas movie of all time?

  3. What is the most recorded Christmas song? 

  4. What is the best-selling Christmas song? 

  5. What does the word “noel” mean in its original language? 

  6. How many ghosts appear in A Christmas Carol? 

  7. What do people traditionally place at the top of Christmas trees? 

  8. How many characters did Tom Hanks play in The Polar Express (2004)?

  9. What characters symbolizing Christmas or winter appear in the main cast of Rise of the Guardians (2012)?

  10. What are the three traditional colors of Christmas? 

Read: 

“Esther”

This is a fascinating book. After his wife Vashti refuses to obey him, Persian King Ahasuerus seeks a new wife. Esther is chosen to be the new queen because of her beauty. The story of betrayal, courage, and strength begins. This book reads like a novel but is the true account of how God used the beautiful Esther to accomplish His purposes. You can find Esther tucked between the book of Nehemiah and the book of Job in the Bible. 


Listen:

“Deepening Your Spiritual Intimacy”

We don’t talk about it a lot, but spiritual intimacy with your spouse in your marriage is exactly what God wants for you. In this episode, we will talk about ways to help make that happen.

Watch:

“Daily Pressures”

We all face pressures every day. We can feel pressure at work and pressure at home.  

The advantage in marriage is that we have a teammate as we face these pressures and when we also put God first, it is amazing how different we can look at pressures. Join me on the Awesome Marriage Youtube Channel this week as I look at this issue.

Insights:

White Flags: Part 2

Chris Tomlin and Passion recorded “White Flags.” This is the second “Insights” based on that song.

When I married Nancy, I had expectations. Some of them I knew and some were hidden and I had no idea how they would play out in my marriage. I did know that I wanted a faithful wife, a best friend, a partner in life, someone to have fun with, a great lover, and companion in hard times. Those were important to me then and are still important. I think most of those were also important to Nancy and for the most part, we have done a pretty good job of meeting them.

Then there are the other expectations. Some of these, if I was totally honest with myself, I was aware of, but I had never verbalized them. Here is one that had all kinds of implications: Nancy should meet all my needs. As I just said those words my thoughts were, “Are you kidding?”  Unfortunately, the answer was “no.” So I would get mad when she did not want to do what I wanted to do, or go to dinner where I wanted to go, or have sex every time I wanted to have sex, or be in a good mood all the time. You get the idea. To say these expectations caused problems in our marriage would be a gross understatement because they almost derailed it.   

There were other expectations, like expecting her to cook like my mom and take care of me when I was sick like my mom did. I could literally go on and on. Finally, I came to a crossroads.  I had a choice to make. I could keep pushing my agenda as I kept pushing her farther and farther away or I could surrender. I could raise my “white flag” and lay down all my expectations before God or I could get used to living my life without Nancy. 

I chose to lay them down and here is what God taught me. He is the one that will meet my needs and Nancy is an added blessing in my life. I was expecting her to meet needs she was never designed to meet. I was trying to give her God’s job. When I began to filter my expectations through God, there was an incredible difference. They became realistic and fit within His plan for me and my marriage. Sure, there are times when an unrealistic expectation pops up again, but I am learning to lay those down quickly and again raise the “white flag” as I surrender all to Him.

Try it this week: 

A Next Step:

  • Think about the expectations that you have for your spouse? Are they realistic? Have you let God filter them? What do you need to lay down as you raise your ‘white flag’?

December Trivia Answers

  1. Coca-Cola’s 1931 ad campaign, as drawn by Haddon Sundblom.

  2. Home Alone (1990).

  3. “Silent Night.”

  4. “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby.

  5. Nöel” means “birthday” or “relating to birth” in French.

  6. Four ghosts.

  7. An angel ornament.

  8. Six roles.

  9. Jack Frost and St. Nicholas.

  10. Red, green, and gold.

 

 

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.



Kim KimberlingComment
Raising the White Flag

My good friend Jeff Zaugg from “Dad Awesome” shares what it means to be an intentional dad.

This Week’s Quick Hits:

December Multiple Choice: 

1. Which Christmas movie premiered on TV on the 9th of December 1965?

  • Home Alone

  • Miracle on 34th Street

  • Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch

  • Charlie Brown Christmas

2. Which one of the following singers was born on the 2nd of December 1981?

  • Beyoncé

  • Britney Spears

  • J-Lo

  • Shakira

3. Muhammad Ali fought his last boxing match on the 11th of December 1981. Who was it against?

  • Trevor Berbick

  • Joe Louis

  • Mike Tyson

  • Manny Pacquiao

4. Who wasn’t born on Christmas day?

  • Jesus Christ

  • Isaac Newton

  • Conrad Hilton

  • Charlie Chaplin

Quote:

“You see, we are here, as far as I can tell, to help each other; our brothers, our sisters, our friends, our enemies. That is to help each other and not hurt each other.” Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Stevie Ray Vaughan

Read: 

The President and the Freedom Fighter by Brian Kilmeade

I was never that interested in history until the last few years. Now I cannot seem to learn enough. In The President and the Freedom Fighter, we read about two American heroes - Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglas. In this little known story, Kilmeade tells us how these two men, one Black and one White, moved from strong disagreement to friendship and in the process changed the entire course of history.  

Listen:

Ways to Deepen Your Emotional Intimacy

Sometimes do you feel distant from your spouse and not really connected? You are not alone!  We hear that issue a lot. In this week’s episode we are talking about emotional intimacy along with ideas to deepen it in your marriage.

Watch:

Life Reversal

Most of us have the tendency to fight the differences we see in our spouse, which does nothing to enhance our marriage. What if we took the time to look at things from our spouse’s perspective? How could that make a difference? That’s what I am talking about on this week's vlog. Join me on the Awesome Marriage Youtube Channel.

Insights:

“White Flags”

Chris Tomlin and Passion have recorded many of my favorite Christian songs. Passion features many guest artists and Chris Tomlin has been a part of many of those recordings. Out of all these songs, “White Flag'' is probably my all time favorite. Why? In my marriage and in the marriages of many people that I talk to, the answer to many if not all of our problems and issues is a surrender to God. Slowly read these lyrics:

The battle rages on,  Storm and tempest roar,

We cannot win this fight, Inside our rebel hearts.

We raise our white flags, We surrender all to You,

We raise our white flags, The war is over,

Love has come, Love has won.

There are many ways we could apply the template of this song, but let’s continue with marriage; your marriage in particular. Where is your marriage today? Is it a battle most days or more often than you would like it to be? Do you feel like you are in a raging storm and the marriage is losing? Did you ever stop long enough to ask yourself why?  

For me the answer lies in the fourth line of the song. In my heart I can rebel against everything that would make my marriage great because I want my expectations met, I want things to go my way and I want control of everything and I think my anger is justified. 

I spent a lot of years waging this battle against a woman who is truly a gift from God to me.  Guess what? My way did not work - not even a little bit. Do you know what worked? It lies in the last lines of the lyrics. I had to quit doing it my way and begin to learn how to do it God’s way and guess what? God’s way works. So today, ask yourself, “Is my way of doing marriage working?” If it is, keep doing what you are doing. If not, turning to God’s ways is the right -- and really the only -- next step. 

A Next Step:

  • What is your white flag?  

  • What do you need to lay down at the feet of God?  

  • Are you ready to do that and let God take over your life and your marriage? 


December Multiple Choice Answers

1. Charlie Brown Christmas

2. Brittany Spears

3. Trevor Berbick

4. Charlie Chaplin

 

 

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.

Kim KimberlingComment
Purpose Driven Marriage?

This Week’s Quick Hits:

Let’s kick off this last month of 2021 with some December Trivia! 

Answers below

  1. Which soft drink was served for the first time on December 1, 1835?

  2. Which historic battle commenced on December 16, 1944?

  3. Where were five U.S. Navy Avenger torpedo-bombers comprising Flight 19 lost on December 5, 1945?

  4. What other soft drink was invented on December 30, 1851?

  5. What famous female singer was born on December 2, 1981?

One Fact:

The US has a number of Christmas-related month-long observances, with the most important being National EggNog Month, National Fruit Cake Month, and National Impaired Driving Prevention Month!

Simple Ways to Connect With Your Wife

Read: 

The Judge’s List by John Grisham

John Grisham’s first novel, A Time To Kill, is still my all time favorite, but I really like the fictional character Lacy Stolz, who Grisham introduced to us in his previous book, The Whistler. Lacy works for the Florida Board of Judicial Conduct and one of her judges comes under suspicion when accused of a 20 year old murder by a mysterious woman. The book is a page turner and Grisham’s first venture into the world of a serial killer. In all of his books, Grisham is a master storyteller.  

Listen:

FAQ About Sex!

The questions for this episode came from our recent poll on Instagram. We asked for your questions and you gave them to us! We will talk about frequency, sex drive, talking to your kids about sex, whether anything is not okay for a Christian couple in their sex life, and more! Don’t miss this one!

Watch:

“Life Reversal”

Most of us have the tendency to fight the differences we see in our spouse, which does nothing to enhance our marriage. What if we took the time to look at things from our spouse’s perspective? How could that make a difference? That’s what I am talking about on this week's vlog. Join me on the Awesome Marriage Youtube Channel.

Streaming: 

This is the fourth in a four-part series where I share the four pastors I listen to each week. Pastors Craig Groechel, Matt Chandler and Levi Lusko were my first three. Today Pastor Dylan Dodson joins my list. Dylan is the pastor of New City Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. Dylan is a good friend and I love all that is going on at New City. In his messages, Dylan is open, transparent and insightful. His messages are powerful and kingdom driven. Dylan and Christina have two great children, Finley and Roman. Here is a link to Dylan’s latest message.

Insights:

Purpose Driven Marriage?

There are lots of books that you can read, podcasts you can listen to, and videos that you can watch to help you find your purpose in life. These can also help you look at your purpose from a number of different angles. It could be purpose in your career or purpose in your relationship with God or purpose in something else. Almost twenty years since it was first published, The Purpose Driven Life, by Pastor Rick Warren, continues to be a standard for people trying to understand their purpose in life. 

I think the bottom line is that each of us really do want our life to count. We want to make a difference, whether in our family or the world. As Christians we believe God put us here for a reason and we want to know that purpose in order to begin fulfilling it. 

So if we believe God has a purpose for each of our lives, can we take that a step further and say that God has a purpose for our marriage? What if we borrowed that idea from Pastor Rick Warren and said that each couple that God has put together can have a “purpose driven marriage?” Think about it. What would that mean to you and your spouse? If the most important relationship in this life is our relationship with Christ and the number two relationship in this life is with our spouse, don’t you think God might have a purpose for your marriage?

I don’t have all the answers to this one. It’s just a thought in my mind but one that intrigues me.  Actually, I would like your input as we pursue a “purpose driven marriage.” As I look at our marriage, I see that it has served many purposes over the years. Some of them benefitted us and some benefited others. 

Some examples of “purpose” that have benefitted us - companions, friends, lovers, confidants, partners, supporters. Then there are some that have benefited others. First our children as we joined together with purpose to raise them in the way we believed God wanted us too. Then God has brought couples into our lives for us to mentor. This is always humbling and Nancy and I feel we get much more than we give, but God has given us incredible opportunities to pour into others marriages. I also believe God has a purpose for us today as we share with others what we see as His plan for marriage. 

I hope by now some thoughts are running through your mind. Think about these questions.  

  • What is the purpose of your marriage today?  

  • What has been the purpose in the past?  

  • What might it be in the future?  

As Christian couples, I believe we have purpose and if we do then one of the greatest gifts in marriage would be discovering it together and then with God’s help living it out.  

I would love your input on this. What do you see as your purpose? Has God given you different purposes in different stages of your marriage? Are you stuck and just cannot find what that purpose is? What are your thoughts and ideas? Can we define a “purpose driven marriage?” 

Now it's your turn!

Try it this week: 

A Next Step:

  • What is the purpose of your marriage today?  

  • What has been the purpose in the past?  

  • What might it be in the future?  


December Trivia Answers

  1. Dr. Pepper

  2. Battle of the Bulge

  3. Bermuda Triangle

  4. Coca Cola

  5. Brittany Spears

 

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.