This Week’s Quick Hits:

Let’s Do Some November Trivia. Give yourself 20 points for each right answer.  Perfect score is 100!

1. On November 29, 1983 the drama, The Day After was aired on television. The drama depicted the effects of what fictional event?

a. A pandemic of food poisoning from E-coli-infected Thanksgiving turkeys

b. The election of the U.S.’s first president with a phobia of lying

c. A toilet paper shortage

d. A nuclear attack on the U.S.

2. On November 6, 1928 the first animated electric sign was mounted on the Times Building in Times Square, NY. For what purpose was this animated sign used for?

a. displaying cartoons

b. showing presidential election returns

c. displaying stock market values

d. presenting a risqué ad for Nafalino Bras & Corsets

3. This famous romance drama film, based on the play Everybody Comes To Rick’s, made   its debut on November 26, 1942. What was this film?

a. Casablanca

b. For Whom the Bell Tolls

c. The Maltese Falcon

d. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

4. In Latin the word November means:

a. eleventh month

b Scorpio month

c. frost month

d. ninth month

5. In the classic Guns N’ Roses’ song, November Rain, what follows this line: “And when your fears subside, and shadows remain..”

a. “I know that you can love me”

b. “I know my shame is your only pain”

c. “I know our love will stray”

d. “I know your dog watches me while I sleep”

Read, Listen, Watch

Watch:

The Boys by Ron Howard and Clint Howard

If you are an Andy Griffith Show fan, you know Opie. If you’re a Happy Days fan you know Richie; both are played by Ron Howard.  If you are a Gentle Ben fan, you know Mark, played by Clint Howard.  The brothers Howard were all over our TV screens for many years. This amazing book gives us a look inside Hollywood from the perspectives of two child stars. For me, the real story is about family.  With strong values and roots from their Oklahoma backgrounds, Rance and Jean Howard raised their two Hollywood actor sons the same way. I am not a big Hollywood memoir book person but this book is different and I am a fan!

Vlog:

Why are people reluctant to go to marriage counseling?

Let’s look at some of the common reasons that people back away from marriage counseling?  Can you guess what they are? Removing these reasons opens the door to letting a trained, neutral person help you improve your marriage.

Listen:

Gas Lighting in Marriage: Warning SIgns and Next Steps |  Episode 489

In this episode, Christina and I talk about gaslighting. Gaslighting can be a common issue when it comes to marriage conflict and many people who gaslight do not even know they are doing it. 

Here we will focus on what it is, the warning signs that you're being gaslit, and next steps if your spouse is gaslighting you. 

Streaming: 

I listen to four messages each week from pastors that challenge and inspire me. Their messages are relevant and I always have  a good take away from each message.  

This week I want to highlight my Pastor Craig Groeschel from Life Church in OKC. The first message I heard from Craig was on January 8th of 2000. Since then I have heard hundreds of his messages. 

Craig is a great leader and was very instrumental with his encouragement and support in the early days of Awesome Marriage. Craig is an incredible speaker and his messages are both inspiring and practical. Here is the link to his latest message.

Insights:

A Lifetime of Awesome Sex in Marriage Pt. 10 - Hurdles and/or Obstacles

As we enter in the last two weeks of this series on a lifetime of sex in marriage, let’s talk about hurdles or obstacles that get in the way. Many couples face this first one: babies. 

After five years of marriage we were ready for our family to grow. We loved having a baby in our lives and embraced the changes that came with it, but sex became a challenge. 

At bedtime, I’d ask Nancy if she wanted to have sex. She’d say yes...and then she’d fall asleep before I could get my clothes off. The energy that had always been there for sex was now often difficult to find. I was frustrated, and she hated that I was frustrated but we were in a totally new season of marriage. 

The key for me was to realize that it would not last forever. It was simply a season.

When I accepted that fact, it made the difference. We talked about adjustments that we needed to make  together. Our frequency changed but once we talked about it , our quality didn’t suffer. It was dealing with expectations and making them realistic for this season of marriage.

We learned to talk more, plan more, and embrace the changes. We were more aware of opportunities that we needed to take advantage of. 

• Kids’ naptimes

• When they had overnights with grandparents or friends

• Morning showers

Over the years, other hurdles came with different seasons.

• Schedules - always busy; had to learn to say no

• Health issues: Endometriosis and pain; good doctors helped us walk through this season

• Lower libido

• Stress

• Depression, which can affect sex life 

The key for us in each season was taking the time to listen and to understand each other.  We had to talk about the hurdles and not ignore them.  We had to listen, be empathetic, and be non-judgmental.  We had to go through these together as a team.  When we did, we found that our sex life during and on the other side of these hurdles was better and our marriage grew.

A Next Step

Identify together the hurdle or obstacle that stands in the way of improving and working on your sex life in marriage. Now each of you come up with a solution or two. Share your solutions and pick at least one to implement. 

November Trivia Answers:

1. A nuclear attack on the United States

2. Showing Presidential Election Returns

3. Casablanca

4. Ninth month

5. “I know that you can love me”

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.

This Week’s Quick Hits:

On This Date: 

1886: The Statue of Liberty is dedicated by President Grover Cleveland and New York City’s first ticker tape parade was held in honor of the occasion.

1962: President John F. Kennedy received a letter from Soviet Leader Nikita Khrushchev suggesting an agreement to end the Cuban Missile Crisis

Two Fun Trivia Questions:

What is the shortest sentence in the English language?

Where was the first carrot found?

In this clip from the AM Podcast, my guest Stacy Henagan shares how she emerged with a greater belief that God is good and trustworthy even after He didn’t answer her prayer for healing on behalf of her terminally ill daughter as expected.

Listen:

More Power To You

On this week’s podcast I interviewed Margaret Feinberg.  Margaret is an author, Bible teacher, and host of the podcast, “The Joycast.” In her new book, More Power To You, she says we can break free from negative thought spirals in just 90 seconds each day. This is one of my very favorite interviews and I don’t want you to miss it!

Watch:

Would You Go To Marriage Counseling? 

If your spouse asked you to go to marriage counseling, would you go? If you went, what would it take from both of you to make the investment successful? In this vlog, I will look at these questions with you!

Streaming: 
Grantchester

Nancy and I have loved this show since it began in 2015. It is a PBS Masterpiece series and the quality of the production is excellent. It is set in the town of Grantchester in England in 1953 after World War ll. Each episode has a new mystery as a young vicar and a veteran cop join forces to solve baffling murders. A new vicar joined in season 4 and season 6 is set to begin soon. Nobody does murder mysteries like the British!

Insights

A Lifetime of Awesome Sex in Marriage Part 9: Make the Effort

A lifetime of awesome sex happens when we take action. After we talk about frequency, quality and differences, we need to take action steps. Sex in marriage seems to come in cycles. Each cycle becomes an opportunity to talk about the season you are in and what each of you needs to do - individually and together.

Let’s look at a few more things to improve the quality of your sex life together.

Romance: Share with each other what romance means to you. Share your most romantic time together with each other. What would romance look like today? Next year? In 5 or 10 years? 

Guys you can do this. You were romantic when you were pursuing her. You may have done some or many romantic things for her over the years of your marriage. Don’t stop. She is still your Juliet and you must still be her Romeo. 

Foreplay: Share what you like in foreplay. Are there new things you would like to try? Showers or baths together, backrubs, giving massages, etc. Foreplay may not happen every time but commit to working on improving this part of your sex life. Depending on the season you are in there may be more or less time for foreplay - just don’t forget about it!

Be sexy: Guys. Does she like a certain cologne or clothes you wear? There are times to really put the effort in looking and smelling nice for her. Ask her what she thinks is sexy and then follow through with whatever she says. Ladies: It’s usually pretty easy for you. Keep breathing.  Ask yourself what he would like. Maybe a new perfume or lingerie or nightgown.  

The key is simple: make the effort.

A Next Step

• Do something romantic for your spouse this week

• Try something new for the two of you in foreplay this week

Two Fun Trivia Answers:

• Go.

• In the ground, just like the rest.

  *Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.

Our good friend Toni Nieuwhof talks about the importance of shared activities.

This Week’s Quick Hits:

Random Science Facts: 

• Lobsters have blue blood.

• You could theoretically lose weight eating celery since it takes more calories to digest celery than are contained in the vegetable.

• Sound travels about four times faster in water than in air.

• Women blink nearly twice as often as men.

Two Tough Trivia Questions (Answers below)

• What was banned in Indonesia for stimulating passion?

• What were the first hockey pucks made of?

Read, Listen, Watch

Streaming:

Garth Brooks: The Road I’m On

It’s no secret that I am a big Garth Brooks fan. Some of that comes from having the same Oklahoma roots, but most of it is because I think he is the most talented entertainer I have ever seen or listened to. This two-part series starts with his humble beginnings and carries us along his road to superstar status. His candor and emotion give us an inside look at this man and his passion for life, his family, and his fans. 

Listen:

Perseverance to Keep an Awesome Marriage

We are back this week with a new episode about perseverance. The thing about building an awesome marriage is you’re never done. It gets a lot easier with time but you can’t just coast. So how do we keep persevering? That’s what we talk about in this episode.

Watch:

Being A Spiritual Leader Is Not Part 2

Being a spiritual leader is a lot simpler than we often think it is. You don’t have to know the Bible better than your wife does, you just have to be willing to open it up! Tune in as I share more about what it really means to be the spiritual leader in your home. 

Read:
At Your Best 

I met Carey in 2015 when he interviewed me for a Canadian morning TV show. He continues to be a valued friend. I read At Your Best in a couple of days, then went back to implement what I learned. This book will help you reorganize your life and regain control of your most important priorities. My biggest practical takeaway was identifying my daily energy zones and setting my schedule accordingly. My main calendar now has green, yellow, and red blocks of time every day. I saw this make a difference for me on day one.

Insights:

A Lifetime of Awesome Sex in Marriage Pt. 8 - More Differences

Last week we talked about differences in men and women concerning sex. Here are a few more to consider and embrace. 

• Men: In most marriages, the man has more frequent desires and needs. Men are very visual, which plays a big part in this. 

• Women: They want trust and commitment
. They need to feel safe. Wives want to be able to trust their husband 100% and to know that they will be there tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come.

• Men: Men have wider boundaries. What they think about may be different from what their wife thinks about. The important thing for a man is to stay at the comfort level of his wife.

• Women: Want their husband to enjoy time with her. Not just sexually, but the rest of the day also. 

Don’t let these differences become obstacles. Talk about them together, learn to embrace them and see them as a positive and not a negative. 

There is one more area that I don’t think we talk about enough. Over the two years that Nancy and I dated before we married, there were a lot of ways we bonded. We held hands, I put my arm around her shoulders and around her waist, we looked into each other’s eyes, we cuddled, and we kissed.  

Once we were married, we didn’t focus as much on those. The act of sex kinda moved to the forefront, which was normal. But we realized that we missed the non-sexual bonding and began to make an effort to build it back into our marriage.

Have you let the non-sexual touching slip away? Share with each other what ways of non-sexual bonding you most miss or enjoy and commit to get those going in your marriage.   

Try it this week: 

A Next Step

• Talk together about the differences I mentioned today. How can they be positive in your marriage?

• Pick two ways of non-sexual touching to build into your marriage. Then be intentional about doing them every day. 

Two Tough Trivia Questions:

• What was banned in Indonesia for stimulating passion? Hula Hoops

• What were the first hockey pucks made of? Cow dung.

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.