This week in the Dispatch:

• Quick Hits: Tech Timeline, Did you Know?, and By the Way

• Blindside author Michael Lewis’s latest!

• 4 Days to becoming a Better Man

• Special Guests on the Awesome Marriage Podcast 

• This week’s Vlog looks at “Distance”

• Insights: “Fighting Fair”

• Next Steps and a Challenge to help you fight right!

This Week’s Quick Hits:

Technology changes almost daily. Here is a look back:

• Sony Computer Entertainment released the PlayStation 4 on November 15, 2013. It became the second best-selling home video game console of all time, with the first being its predecessor, the PlayStation 2.

• On March 1, 2015, SanDisk revealed the world’s first-ever 200GB microSD card.

• On June 20, 2016, China showed the Sunway TaihuLight, which is deemed to be the world’s fastest supercomputer because of its ability to reach 125 petaflops.

• On November 28, 2017, Facebook started utilizing artificial intelligence to find out users that are at risk for suicide by analyzing their posts, shares, and photos.

• In 2019, a company owned by Google called Alphabet, Inc. announced that it would begin manufacturing autonomous vehicles in a mass-production state. These autonomous vehicles wouldn’t need drivers to be controlled, and although this feature seems unsafe at first glance, it is actually safer than having a human driver that is prone to being dizzy, drowsy, or drunk.

Did you know?

• More human twins are being born now than ever before. The "twinning rate" has increased by one-third since the '80s—up from 9 to 12 twins per 1,000 deliveries.

• The moon has moonquakes. They are less common and less intense than the shakes that happen here; moonquakes are believed by the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) scientists to occur due to tidal stresses connected to the distance between the Earth and the moon.

By the way: Today is “National Chicken Wing Day.”  Enjoy!

Read:

The Premonition: A Pandemic Story by Michael Lewis

What does a 13-year-old girl’s science project on airborne pathogen transmission, a public-health officer who sees what the CDC is missing, and a secret team of dissenting doctors with everything necessary to fight the pandemic, have in common? They all play a part in the story of what was not done during the pandemic. This book gives us a mostly non-partisan look behind the curtain before and during the Covid 19 pandemic. Michael Lewis, who gave us The Blind Side, Moneyball, and The Big Short, gives us another non-fiction book that reads like a fiction thriller. 

YouVersion Plan: 

A Better Man

Colby Taylor, my co-host of The Better Man Podcast, wrote this incredible plan. We all want to be better men but we find barriers that keep us from getting there. This plan will give you practical steps to take to become the man God created you to be. 

Listen:

Awesome Marriage Podcast: “Making the Most of Your Differences.”

I am excited to welcome Jay and Breona Wanshington as my special guests this week. Jay is an introvert and Bre an extrovert. We talk about how these two different personalities can actually strengthen and grow a marriage.

Also, don’t miss my interview with Bob Goff coming up on the Podcast August 31!

Watch:

The Problem With Distance 

Are you and your spouse separated by physical distance? Maybe one of you is deployed or traveling for work. What can you do to bridge that distance to help you two still feel connected? I will share some practical ways you can do this.  

Insights:

Fight Fair

Most couples do not know how to fight fair. They have never seen it modeled. When we fight, we become selfish and battle to get our way. Arguments have a tendency to escalate and can get totally out of hand. It is interesting that in counseling, couples often relate their battles to me.  Many times they can’t even remember what started the fight, but they can remember all the hurtful things that were said.  

In the Bible, James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”  This really sums it up. If I really listen to what Nancy is saying to me, and then I think things through (preferably prayerfully) before I say anything back to her, and finally if I control my anger, I honestly do not think we would ever fight. Sure we will disagree and have differences, but we never have to really fight.

One tool I use to help me live out James 1:19 is “STOP-LOOK-LISTEN.” It is really quite simple.  

STOP: When you are talking to your spouse, get rid of all distractions. That means close your computer, disconnect from all mobile devices, turn the TV off; put the book down; turn off the video game.  

LOOK: Turn and face each other so you can look into each other’s eyes. This helps keep you from being distracted.  

LISTEN: Really focus on what they are saying. Then say it back to them in your own words to make sure you understand.  

I find in our marriage that when we go through these steps, we usually understand each other better, and understanding can solve problems and issues in your marriage.

Fighting fair strengthens marriages. If this is an area you struggle in, I encourage you to begin today to take steps to fight fair.

Next Steps:

• Memorize James 1:19. “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”  

• Ask God to help you to be consistent with each of these.

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.

This week in the Dispatch:

• Quick Hits: July Celebrations, Did You Know?, and A Look Back at 2006!

• Inside “The Dynasty” in Books

• This Week’s YouVersion Plan is “Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage 2: The Really Tough Questions”

• On the Awesome Marriage Podcast we look at “Communication Ruts”

• This week’s Vlog looks at “The Problem with Distance”

• Insights: “Seeking God Together”

• Next Steps and a Challenge as you seek God together

Read:

The Dynasty by Jeff Benedict

I was never really a New England Patriots fan until Wes Welker joined them in 2007. I had loved watching Wes play since his high school days. So as he joined them, I became intrigued with the Patriots and their “system” which brought them 19 consecutive winning seasons while appearing in 11 Super Bowls and winning 6 of them. The book tells the story of Robert Kraft, Bill Belichick, and Tom Brady and how three men with so many differences came together to create a true sports dynasty. Benedict takes us inside these relationships and how they handled victory and defeat on and off the field. I loved this book!

YouVersion Plan: 

Getting Yourself Ready for Marriage 2: The Really Tough Questions

This plan is the companion plan to Getting Yourself Ready For Marriage: Part 1. It includes six short videos, Bible references, a Challenge, and Next Steps. It’s a great way to get ready for an Awesome Marriage!

Listen:

Awesome Marriage Podcast: Achieving Awesome Communication: Dealing with Communication Ruts

In this podcast, we are talking about ruts in our communication. What do you do when communication goes stale or stops happening altogether? We will look at how we get into these ruts, how to avoid them, and how to get out of them. Join us!

Watch:

Awesome Marriage Vlog: The Problem with Distance

This week on the Awesome Marriage YouTube Channel. Whether you are apart for a night, a week, a month, or a year, there are great ways to grow your marriage while apart. Join us for this week’s vlog The Problem with Distance.

INSIGHTS: 

Seeking God Together

The stories in the Bible encourage me and strengthen my faith. I learn from them as God uses them over and over in my life. In the book of Genesis in chapter two, God finished creation and interacted with Adam and Eve, the first husband and wife ever. God placed them in this incredible, lush garden, Eden. It was the perfect place. I think it is hard for us to imagine how incredible that place must have been. There is truly nothing in our lives today that would compare to its beauty and grandeur.  

Scripture tells us that each day in the cool of the evening, God came to spend time with Adam and Eve - together. I think that point is so important. The story does not say that God came and spent time with Adam or that God came and spent time with Eve. It says He spent time with them together. I believe with all my heart that is what God wants for each of us in our marriages.  Sure, God wants a personal relationship with each of us, but He wants to be right in the center of our marriages too.  

If you have read the story as it continues in Genesis 3, you know that Adam and Eve messed up big time. They did the only thing God told them not to do. That one sin changed almost everything. Adam and Eve had to leave Eden. The roles of a husband and a wife changed.  Creation was fractured. Yet, one thing did not change. God still wanted a relationship with them as individuals and in their marriage. The same is true for us today. God provided us a way back to Him. He did that through the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus.  

My belief is that we can have the relationship with God that Adam and Eve had in Genesis 2 through our relationship with Jesus Christ. Putting God first will change your marriage. Read His word. Pray together to Him. Obey His commands. Treat each other with respect. Love deeply.  God truly wants each of us to have an Awesome Marriage. Do not miss out. Seek Him today.

Next Steps:

• What does it mean to you that God wants a relationship with the two of you?

Challenge:

• A number of ways couples can have a relationship with God as a couple are: 

  • Read His word. 

  • Pray together. 

  • Obey His commands. 

  • Treat each other with respect. 

  • Love deeply. 

Begin with one or two as you gradually work all of them into your marriage.

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.

This week in the Dispatch:

• Quick Hits: Special July Dates and a Movie Trivia Quiz to challenge you

• My “Top 5” Books for the first six months of 2021

• This Week’s YouVersion Plan: “Getting Ready For Marriage 1: The Tough Questions

• On the Awesome Marriage Podcast we talk about “Communication Breakdowns”

• This week’s Vlog looks at “The Problem with Distance”

• Insights: Join me on “A Look Back”

• Next Steps and a Challenge for our Awesome Marriage tribe

READ, WATCH, LISTEN

My Top Five Books 

Most of you know that I read and listen to a lot of books. My goal each year is a book a week.  I just finished number 35 for the year. Here are my Top 5 Books for the first half of 2021!

#1 Sooley by John Grisham

#2 Keep Sharp by Sanjay Gupta, MD

#3 Excellence Wins by Horst Schulze

#4 The Bomber Mafia by Malcolm Gladwell

#5 Multipliers Revised Edition by Liz Wiseman

YouVersion Plan: 

Getting Ready For Marriage 1: The Tough Questions

In this five day devotional, we look at the things in life that can distract from a marriage. The devotional will help you see different ways to protect your marriage from these distractions and how to nurture your marriage one day at a time. 

Listen:

Awesome Marriage Podcast: Achieving Awesome Communication: Communication Breakdowns

Thanks for all the great responses to this podcast series on communication! In this week’s episode, Christina and I look at the communication breakdowns we can have in our marriages. We will identify these and talk about how to overcome them and build good healthy communication in your marriage.

Watch:

This week on the Awesome Marriage YouTube Channel, I will look at “Getting an Advanced Degree.” Whether you are apart for a night, a week, a month, or a year, there are great ways to grow your marriage while apart. Join us for this week’s vlog. 

INSIGHTS: 

A Look Back

Awesome Marriage launched in October of 2010 as a Facebook page. This week I looked back at some content from our early days as the dream God placed on my heart became a reality. Here is an excerpt I wrote two weeks into our first year and my thoughts on it today.

Then: Do you know what my dream is for marriages? My dream is to have a zero divorce rate.  That's right  - no divorces anywhere. Plus, I want every marriage to be awesome. Here is my plan.

Step one is helping couples that are at high risk for divorce not to marry in the first place. Too many couples “fall in love” and get married without ever seriously looking at their relationship. I want every couple considering marriage to be challenged to look hard and deep into their relationship before they say “I do.” The pain of breaking up before marriage is not near as painful as a divorce later on in marriage.

Now: Through many of our resources and our online Preparing for an Awesome Marriage course, we have made some positive steps to accomplish this goal, but we still have a long way to go.

Then: Step two is helping married couples improve their marriages. Marriage is not something we “do” and then coast for 50 years. Ask any couple that has a long, healthy marriage and they will tell you that it took work and a lot of it.  

Now: On day one of Awesome Marriage our one and only platform was Facebook. Over time, we have added almost every other form of social media. Now we have the One Thing daily emails and texts that are transforming marriages. We have so many great resources to help couples grow their marriages. We have great videos, YouVersion plans and podcasts, and we have so much more planned. 

Then: Step three is providing a “911” service for those in a marriage crisis.

Now: We have many resources to help couples in crisis, including our Online Affair Recovery Course. And we have just unveiled a whole new platform that we think will save hundreds of marriages from moving toward divorce and help them build the marriage God has designed especially for them. I can’t wait to see how God uses this. 

Then: OK. That is my dream. I cannot do it alone. I need the Awesome Marriage community to help. I want your ideas and dreams. I want us to join together and make this happen. Can you imagine a world full of awesome marriages? 

Now: God has put together the most incredible team at Awesome Marriage that I am honored to work with every day. Yet, we still need you just like we did at the beginning. Some of your messages were the catalyst for the new “90 Days to Save Your Marriage” platform. So many of our resources are designed to help meet the needs you tell us that you are dealing with. We need your continued input. We need your prayers. We need your comments, ratings and reviews and if we have helped your marriage, we would love for you to consider giving back so we can reach even more couples.  

Will we ever hit a “zero” divorce rate? Probably not, but we are not going to change the goal.  We have seen God transform so many marriages over these 11 years and the road to zero divorces happens one marriage at a time. 

Next Steps:

• Help us continue to spread the word about Awesome Marriage. Share our posts.  Leave reviews and comments.

• Pray for Awesome Marriage and our incredible team.

Movie Trivia:

1. Maggie Gyllenhaal; 2) Joker; 3) Pulp Fiction; 4) La La Land; 5) Moonraker; 6) Gladiator; 7) Alec Guinness; 8) 1994; 9) Red Apple Cigarettes; 10) William Defoe. Bonus Question: It Happened One Night, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and The Silence of the Lambs.

The Tough One: “Adventures of Luke Starkiller, As Taken From the Journal of the Whills, Saga 1: The Star Wars”

*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.